Do you try to fix your partner, your kids, your clients, or your family members?

When your partner is struggling at work, do you try and tell him what to do. When your child is struggling with a friend at school, do you jump in and say what she should do. When you’re scrolling Facebook and you see someone struggling (and you know how to help), do you dive in and tell them this is what they need to do to change? 

Do you feel so sorry for them?

“I just feel so bad for my friend Jess, she’s going through a divorce right now and I need to _______.”  “I just feel so sorry for this potential client, she is really having financial struggles right now, I need to give her a discount.” 

Do you want to lift the burden off their shoulders?

So often the do-gooders in the world: coaches, healers, pastors, therapists, try to fix others. It is with good intention, it really is. You desire the world to feel good and when they do not, you just dive right in and work to save the day. While this may seem quite noble and harmless, there is a catch. The first catch… BURNOUT. You literally wear yourself out “fixing” other people because it is a lot of output with little to no input. 

But what you don’t realize is that if you’re trying to fix others, you’re blinded to their sovereignty. These are two completely different energies on two very different playing fields. “I need to fix” energy = you are implying that the other person is inherently flawed, wrong, or broken = low vibration. On the other hand, you are sovereign = you are inherently loved, worthy, and complete = high vibration.

The biggest clue you’re trying to fix others are these few phrases: “Oh I just feel so bad for them, I’ve got to…”. “Oh I just feel so sorry for them, I must…”.

We get caught up in needing to fix others because… IT’S TOO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR US to see someone else struggle. Let that marinate for a bit.

I’m too uncomfortable in my own body, that I need to do something, like fix your situation so that I FEEL BETTER. Wait a tic, I mean, yeah, I was doing that so that you would feel better. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You can see the unhelpfulness of fixing from so many angles now:

1. You are only able to see the “broken” part of someone else, and so you’re blinded to their sovereignty.

2. They feel even less confident and adequate because someone else has to dive in and solve their problems for them.

3. You perpetuate your need to fix others and YOU avoid feeling discomfort in your body.

4. Burnout

So what’s the alternative…

Start to see them in their sovereignty. Let them lead. Let them, succeed. Let them fail. Let them make mistakes. Let them learn.

It’s their life. 

See them as complete.

See them as fully capable.

See them as resourceful.

Watch the video to dive in even deeper.

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