One of my friends used to say the phrase, “I am the boss of me.”  He even made t-shirts and gave them to his closest friends. I still have mine!

Simple & profound.

It is such a brilliant phrase. We often will succumb to pressures of the outside world and act on the guidance of others, rather than look at our own brilliant guidance system.

Radical self-responsibility = taking ownership of your current business or life situation. If it’s a mess, you’ve created that mess. If it’s thriving, you’ve created an atmosphere to thrive.

I am the boss of me.

Let’s talk about self-responsibility. Here is a chart below, sharing the 4 areas we often fall in to:


  1. Victim
  2. Blamer
  3. Saver
  4. Creator


**Some of this information is from the Family Constellation Therapy.


  1. Victim: 
  • Focus: negativity, suffering & past events
  • Belief: no power, positive is not for me
  • Time: self-pity, ruminating about problems, being stuck
  1. Blamer: 
  • Focus: blaming & suffering because of others; negativity
  • Belief: “My life sucks because of..” outside people/factors/circumstance
  • Time: venting, anger, resentment, “if only…”


  1. Saver:
  • Focus: on others, saving/fixing others or situations
  • Belief: “I’ll fix your situation”.
  • Time: listening to others, solving other people’s problem


  1. Creator
  • Focus: sharing gratitude, ownership & growth from challenges, present moment
  • Belief: in control of life.; I’m responsible for my life.
  • Time: on values, creativity, joy, growth, learning, inspired action, goal-setting


So think about yourself, which area do you often fall in to?

  • Do you pull the victim-card and say, “Well, I can’t have that, others can.”
  • Or maybe, you fall into the blamer realm and say, “It’s not my fault I don’t have money, it’s because of the economy, my education or being a single parent.”
  • Or maybe, you spend much of your time “fixing others” [who don’t need to be fixed, rather seen in their highest good], so you don’t have to focus on yourself.
  • Or, are you one of those who is taking FULL responsibility for their lives and their outcomes.


Okay, so now what?!


  1. Own it. If you are in victim-mode, simple own it and notice you are there. It’s okay. You’ve learned over time to be in victim-mode. Now, you know you are often there and can make a conscious effort to shift it.


  1. Thank yourself for noticing.


  1. Change the channel. If I were in creator mode, how would I speak or act differently?


There you go. That is the quick and dirty on how to begin to take self-responsibility in your business and your life. If you make a mistake, own it. If you finished a small milestone, own it and celebrate it.

You are the boss of you. Once you begin to take radical self-responsibility, you’ll begin up-leveling and be ready to take forward steps with confidence.

Be sure to join my private Facebook group: Untamed Women in Business to meet other amazing women!