One of my friends used to say the phrase, “I am the boss of me.” He even made t-shirts and gave them to his closest friends. I still have mine!
Simple & profound.
It is such a brilliant phrase. We often will succumb to pressures of the outside world and act on the guidance of others, rather than look at our own brilliant guidance system.
Radical self-responsibility = taking ownership of your current business or life situation. If it’s a mess, you’ve created that mess. If it’s thriving, you’ve created an atmosphere to thrive.
I am the boss of me.
Let’s talk about self-responsibility. Here is a chart below, sharing the 4 areas we often fall in to:
- Victim
- Blamer
- Saver
- Creator
**Some of this information is from the Family Constellation Therapy.
- Victim:
- Focus: negativity, suffering & past events
- Belief: no power, positive is not for me
- Time: self-pity, ruminating about problems, being stuck
- Blamer:
- Focus: blaming & suffering because of others; negativity
- Belief: “My life sucks because of..” outside people/factors/circumstance
- Time: venting, anger, resentment, “if only…”
- Saver:
- Focus: on others, saving/fixing others or situations
- Belief: “I’ll fix your situation”.
- Time: listening to others, solving other people’s problem
- Creator
- Focus: sharing gratitude, ownership & growth from challenges, present moment
- Belief: in control of life.; I’m responsible for my life.
- Time: on values, creativity, joy, growth, learning, inspired action, goal-setting
So think about yourself, which area do you often fall in to?
- Do you pull the victim-card and say, “Well, I can’t have that, others can.”
- Or maybe, you fall into the blamer realm and say, “It’s not my fault I don’t have money, it’s because of the economy, my education or being a single parent.”
- Or maybe, you spend much of your time “fixing others” [who don’t need to be fixed, rather seen in their highest good], so you don’t have to focus on yourself.
- Or, are you one of those who is taking FULL responsibility for their lives and their outcomes.
Okay, so now what?!
- Own it. If you are in victim-mode, simple own it and notice you are there. It’s okay. You’ve learned over time to be in victim-mode. Now, you know you are often there and can make a conscious effort to shift it.
- Thank yourself for noticing.
- Change the channel. If I were in creator mode, how would I speak or act differently?
There you go. That is the quick and dirty on how to begin to take self-responsibility in your business and your life. If you make a mistake, own it. If you finished a small milestone, own it and celebrate it.
You are the boss of you. Once you begin to take radical self-responsibility, you’ll begin up-leveling and be ready to take forward steps with confidence.
Be sure to join my private Facebook group: Untamed Women in Business to meet other amazing women!
Warmly,
Tina
