While recently watching a couple dancing the Tango, I noticed the elegance, poise and connection they had as they moved gracefully across the stage twirling and spinning. Now, since I don’t tango myself, I think my twirling and spinning grace would look more like that of a three year old putting on a performance for her parents.

So let’s talk finances.

Is your financial relationship with you partner, more of tangle or a tango?  Spinning and twirling [not in a good way] or gracefully dancing through life with abundance and intention?

Answer these questions, my friend,

  • Do you and your partner openly talk about finances proactively [not just, “oh hey, I thought I’d let you know that I bought this today.” Sorry folks, that doesn’t count]?
  • Do you have a joint budget or at least know a ballpark number of expenses and income coming in on an average month [for you AND your partner]?
  • Do you know your debt amount and have a plan to pay if off? [If no debt- wahooooooooooo!].
  • Do you and your partner have similar spending habits?

If you answer no to any of those questions, there are likely some tangles in the financial world for your relationship.

I’ll never forget the day my partner said, “Hey did you notice how we had a conversation about money, like no big deal.”

Our beginning conversations looked like this….well you could save more there; do you really need to buy that and would usually end in an argument, discomfort or guilt of some sort.

Sound familiar?

Here are some tips to get this conversation started so you can begin to be on the same page.

1. Start small. One conversation. [I swear it gets easier and easier and easier].

2. What is going well? TRUST ME….START HERE. We, lovely humans, are really good at problem-solving and diving into problems. Yet, we forget to celebrate the goodness already in our lives. Start to shift that focus.

3. Keep it non-judgmental and don’t tell your partner what he/she NEEDS to do, asking if they want your suggestions.

4. Ask a few questions:

1. Ask your partner, how do you feel we are doing financially?
2.Is there anything that you are curious about with my finances? I really want to be open with you.

5.Together discuss what is ONE [not 700] things we can do to improve our finances?  I went super nerdy here. I created spreadsheets, a PowerPoint presentation, and a whole lot more. I know, I know, it was a bit overkill.

Done! That is all- keep it to about 15 minutes to get started. Imagine it going well before you start. Then keep the conversation going, schedule to chat each month. Start small and keep the conversation going until you get more and more on the same page.

Warmly,

Tina

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